Irish Breakfast

I woke up one morning in early November weighing 256 lbs. I don't remember the date I only remember the number. Annie and I had just returned from a trip to visit her grandfather in Ireland where I took a liking to the classic Irish Breakfast. The new digital scale looked at me laughing. 256! 256! Trust me, it wasn't just a giggle.

So with that I decided to do nothing. I ignored my inner voice and kept eating whatever made me happy: bagels with cream cheese (so good), those little mini snickers bars, the occasional Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and tons of fries. Christmas and Thanksgiving came and I very proudly filled my belly with turkey, stuffing, rice, beans, empanadas, platanos and before I knew it I was welcoming 2007 at 258 lbs.

Over that same Christmas we had a nice family dinner in Miami where I recall thinking, I weigh the same as my two uncles put together and you might very possibly be able to add in the weight of a my 5-year-old cousin. Then at our annual Christmas Eve gathering I made a joke about my weight during a toast...and the joke was well received. I was shocked and really thought everyone would respond with a simple, "What are you talking about Al? You're not fat."

A few days later I tried my grandfather's scale hoping it wouldn't mock me with the same giggles as my digital scale in New York. My grandparents own an ancient scale that sways between a 20-lb range depending on how you stand on it. My range was between 240 - 260. This is BAD, I thought. Then the last straw: I was watching a Michigan college football game and heard tackle Prescott Burgess's stats mentioned. He, a linebacker, weighed 243 lbs. I very proudly thought, My 250 can hang with the players on the Michigan team, and then my outer voice betrayed me by yelling this out. Someone very impolitely pointed out that he was 6ft 3. I realized at that point that not only was I out of shape but that the situation was probably far worse than I thought.

Oh and for those of you wondering the average Irish Breakfast has 1250 calories and 93 grams of fat. This translates to 32 Weight Watcher points which is the equivalent to one day of food for a 240 pound man.