Sunday, April 1, 2007

Gett Off My Bike Continued

I walked into the spin class at my gym and began to scope out the audience. I asked the man next to me if the class was appropriate for a beginner. He said yes but recommended I ask the instructor to adjust the bike for maximum comfort, which of course I ignored. I clipped into the bike, adjusted the seat and started to warm up. 2 minutes before the class started I got a tap on my shoulder, I looked up to see a fully decked out female wearing biker shorts, weird cycling shoes and some water resistant looking biking shirt. She said, "You're on my bike, would you mind using another one?" I looked around and noticed that 10 other bikes were available and politely pointed out that I had just adjusted the seat to which she replied, "This IS my bike." My Spidey sense kicked in and I started to feel like I had just occupied the wrong seat in the high school cafeteria and was about to be pummeled by the entire football team. I knew that if I continued the debate it would end with her giving me some type of Three O'Clock High quote like,

"You and me, we're gonna have a fight. Today. After school. Three o'clock. In the parking lot. You try and run, I'm gonna track you down. You go to a teacher, it's only gonna get worse. You sneak home, I'm gonna be under your bed." - Buddy Revell

Instinctively, I got up and changed bikes, a couple of the other bikers shrugged their shoulders at me. The class began and I started peddling. After a few seconds I began to realize that this was going to be much harder than I had originally planned. I began to get this horrible pain in my butt from the seat, instantly recognizing the benefits to biker shorts, which I thought were really only a late 80s fashion statement. I desperately wanted to quit after a few minutes and go upstairs to the comfort of my cushy stationary bike and TV. Then the instructor started do some intervals that required standing up which fortunately temporarily relieved my butt pain. The class continued with the instructor telling us to imagine our outdoor rides using language like, "You just passed two riders, you're at the front of the pack, everything is silent now GO!" Happy to be manipulated by the instructor I imagined myself on the Rickenbacker Causeway in Miami climbing the bridge with the Miami skyline in the background. Then the effer said, "Now you're peddling through sand." The class ended with groans and moans from the last interval but I had burned 700 calories according to my heart monitor and had maintained a very high aerobic workout for far longer than the customary 20 minutes I spend on the bike. I was so tired I had to skip weight training and went home soaked in weight loss sweat.

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