Falling off the Wagon - Trying to find Motivation

I've been hoping that no one has been paying much attention to my weigh ins. I started strong, but at a very specific point in time, I completely fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get back since. I can tell you the exact day and time it happened. A group from work was taking my brother out for lunch on his birthday and invited me to come along (1/30/09). They went to a pizza joint. Sure there were salads on the menu but they were pricey (that's my excuse) and I just couldn't say no to a $4.99 lunch special for 2 slices of pizza AND a drink! What a deal! Literally, after that day of "cheating" whatever had gone "click" in my brain to get me motivated, just as quickly "clicked" off and I haven't been able to figure out how to turn it back on ever since.

Which brings me to the question that I've been trying to figure out - what can motivate me to lose weight? In November I had my 20 year elementary school reunion. I knew about it for months. Was it enough motivation to make me want to give up pancakes and start working out? No. I only fit in about 25% of the clothes in my closet. You would think that would motivate me. In February, my nephew got married and everyone wanted to look fantastic for the wedding. Was that enough? Nope. I'm part of this awesome competition and my husband is the most competitive person ever and expects me to do well. Enough? No. I have five kids and want to be a healthy (and attractive) super mom who can keep up with them and not feel all jiggly when we dance around the room. Sounds motivating, right?

Well, I thought for sure when Lent started that if nothing else could motivate me, perhaps a promise to GOD would get me out of this carb-loving, couch potato mode. I told Steve on Tuesday, "it's FAT TUESDAY, hon! I can eat whatever I want so please don't lecture me because tomorrow, I am taking this weight loss thing seriously. I am making a promise to GOD." Surely this would be my motivation to 'behave'.

I didn't even make it to lunch. (I was having a stressful day at work and resorted to my ultimate "comfort" lunch - a grilled cheese, fries and sunkist.)

So here I am on Sunday. Still trying to find my motivation. Perhaps a new month will mean a new beginning for me. (But why start on a Sunday, I'll wait until tomorrow. haha)